August 9th, 2024

Today is my amazing dog Chloe's birthday. She would have turned 15 today, and she has been a part of my life since she was 12 weeks old. I lost Chloe just two weeks ago, so today is bittersweet—I'm celebrating her life, but without her by my side. Today, I honor her memory as "the one."

One of life's cruel realities is how short a time we have with those we hold closest to our hearts. Chloe brought a love so BIG into my life that her absence leaves an enormous hole. However, I don’t want this celebration to focus on the pain or sadness I’m feeling. Instead, I want to share why she was the one and how her positive energy will continue to influence my life until the day I die.

There are four significant moments with Chloe that I’ll never forget.

The first moment was when I truly fell in love with her.

The second moment was when I realized she was my ONE, and I was hers.

The third moment was when I committed to caring for her until the very end, no matter how difficult it got.

And the fourth moment was when I had to let her go.

Chloe came into our lives when I was looking for a small dog as a gift for my wife at the time. She was found by my brother-in-law in Virginia, and that meant we would be traveling out there to bring her home. I am forever grateful to my brother Ersin for bringing her into my life.

Chloe was supposed to be my wife’s dog. I had already had three extraordinary beings in my life—Nugget, who was still with me at the time, and Dios and Embrace, who had moved on. I wasn’t looking for another dog, having already experienced the pain of losing these big loves.

But Chloe came home, fell in love with Nugget, and started to imprint on my life. At the bottom of this page, there’s a video of Chloe and Nugget meeting for the first time.

Falling in Love…

When Chloe was 6 months old, we had her spayed. That evening, she was in her crate next to our bed, and I couldn’t sleep. I could feel her discomfort from the procedure earlier that day. My wife slept soundly, but I couldn’t take my eyes off this tiny creature beside us. I picked her up to comfort her, and in that moment, as I held and soothed her, I was overwhelmed with a deep love for her. I knew then that this love would be big and timeless. Maybe Chloe and I had agreed to meet in this lifetime for each other's growth and companionship. Maybe we will meet again. All I know is that moment is etched in my memory forever.

Years later, as my relationship with my wife changed, Chloe became more than just a shared pet—she became my baby, my constant companion.

Chloe went everywhere with me. I traveled a lot, lived in a van, and she lived with me. I flew on planes, and she flew with me. She was my best friend, my love, my steady presence. She filled my life in ways that made being alone not feel lonely.

At one point, I was overwhelmed by the depth of our bond. I was so happy just to have her in my life, and I didn’t feel alone because of her. Whether we were surrounded by others or by ourselves, Chloe and I always looked for each other. When I was away, I thought about her, and when I returned, we both felt relieved to be together again.

In that moment, I realized Chloe was My One, and I was hers. It was a moment of profound love, but also one of sadness and fear, knowing that one day I wouldn’t have her by my side.

There were times when I feared losing Chloe. I had lost my other three dogs rather quickly, and that trauma left me terrified I’d experience the same with her. Thankfully, she pulled through those moments, and we continued our journey together.

About a year ago, I started to realize that I might not have Chloe with me much longer. She was slowing down with age, and I became acutely aware of the reality that her time was coming. I hated this reality. I cursed the universe for giving us such brief time with these incredible beings. Why couldn’t we live in a world where our companions’ lives matched our own? It truly makes me mad.

After losing my other dogs so quickly, without the chance to hold them through their final days, I made a promise to Chloe. I was 100% committed to seeing her through her final years, months, or days, no matter how painful it would be. I would be there for her.

I told Chloe I would do everything possible to keep her with me, but also make sure she didn’t suffer. I wouldn’t hold on too long. Four months ago, I thought it was time. I scheduled an appointment with the vet, but Chloe rallied, and we persevered through that moment.

I was blessed with four more months with her. They were tough months, tough days, but every day was a gift—to care for her, to feel her love, to pet her, to cuddle with her, to tell her how much I loved her, to thank her for choosing me. I kept my promise to her, and it will be one of the most important promises I’ve ever made and kept.

Then came the day, unexpected but clear, when it was time for me to care for her in one final way—by letting her go for her sake. July 25th was the hardest day of my life.

Today, two weeks and one day later, I sit here writing this on her 15th birthday, August 9th, 2024, feeling intense sadness but also immense gratitude. Chloe was my ONE. I was hers. We shared 14+ years of memories and companionship. I’m hurting, but I’m lucky. Today, I’ll do my best to transform that pain into memories of love and open my awareness to her continued presence in my life. She is all around me. She is on my mind every day. I talk to her. I tell her that I love and miss her.

And… I’m asking her to come back to me for another journey.

I’ll be looking for her, and I’m excited to find each other again and feel that relief.

Chloe, I love you. I miss you. Let’s find each other again.